Always looking forward to your weekly posts! As I read the empty boat story, I was thinking how we can best apply it to busy, consumed, overwhelmed parents - including those without financial safety net worrying about basic needs.
Compared to work, I struggle often with parenting. I love quiet but my kids are active/ noisy so I am often wrestling with emotional buttons.
Kids, especially little ones, need attention and support almost 24/7 so it’s easy for parents to react emotionally. What would an effortless Wu Wei parenting look like, I wonder. 😊
Thank you for engaging and sharing your thoughts. I like the empty boat story a lot. It is so relatable in everyday life, a reminder that we are often at war with our inner selves. We encounter so many situations in life that we can easily get carried away.
My understanding is that we can still tell the inner self to calm down and see things clearly and that emotions and ego want to get the better of us in those uneasy situations as long as circumstances do not threaten our survival.
Applying wuwei to parenting will be even more challenging because the level of internal battle may be higher. After all, love and care will always be there, not like the encounter with a stranger on a boat. On an analytical level, I would think that if parents can adopt a wu-wei mindset to allow children to grow and develop naturally, that would be ideal. But it is always easier to say and analyze than to do it.
Thanks, Yuxuan! As life would have it, my youngest got sick these few days and my routine is off. I got more anxious about to-do’s I couldn’t get to, I am tired, and get more ruffled by interactions with family members. No mountains I can run away to. So I’ve been thinking of all the caregivers out there, some much more drained that I am - where do we find our empty boat when we need them? 😌
I am sorry to hear that, and I hope your kid is getting better. I believe the best medicine is to be with them when they need you the most.
In stressful moments, it might be a good idea to find ways to avoid being consumed by thoughts and external influences. Choosing to be non-attached seems cold, but we can only respond to things and changes when we have good self-management. What do you think?
Thanks! And yes! Balancing stressful moments with non-attachment or less forceful grip 随缘、顺其自然. To best care for the kids, we need to support caregivers and enable a supportive ecosystem for them.
I agree that when it comes to parenting, the struggle is real.
I like Yuxuan answer's on letting our children develop naturally. It is easier said than done, but it's probably the key to release our internal struggles that are lined with expectations.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Rachel. This is really relatable. Whenever I talk to my father, I can feel his internal struggle. I want him to relax and have fewer expectations and worries about me. But it is really hard.
Always looking forward to your weekly posts! As I read the empty boat story, I was thinking how we can best apply it to busy, consumed, overwhelmed parents - including those without financial safety net worrying about basic needs.
Compared to work, I struggle often with parenting. I love quiet but my kids are active/ noisy so I am often wrestling with emotional buttons.
Kids, especially little ones, need attention and support almost 24/7 so it’s easy for parents to react emotionally. What would an effortless Wu Wei parenting look like, I wonder. 😊
Thank you for engaging and sharing your thoughts. I like the empty boat story a lot. It is so relatable in everyday life, a reminder that we are often at war with our inner selves. We encounter so many situations in life that we can easily get carried away.
My understanding is that we can still tell the inner self to calm down and see things clearly and that emotions and ego want to get the better of us in those uneasy situations as long as circumstances do not threaten our survival.
Applying wuwei to parenting will be even more challenging because the level of internal battle may be higher. After all, love and care will always be there, not like the encounter with a stranger on a boat. On an analytical level, I would think that if parents can adopt a wu-wei mindset to allow children to grow and develop naturally, that would be ideal. But it is always easier to say and analyze than to do it.
Thanks, Yuxuan! As life would have it, my youngest got sick these few days and my routine is off. I got more anxious about to-do’s I couldn’t get to, I am tired, and get more ruffled by interactions with family members. No mountains I can run away to. So I’ve been thinking of all the caregivers out there, some much more drained that I am - where do we find our empty boat when we need them? 😌
I am sorry to hear that, and I hope your kid is getting better. I believe the best medicine is to be with them when they need you the most.
In stressful moments, it might be a good idea to find ways to avoid being consumed by thoughts and external influences. Choosing to be non-attached seems cold, but we can only respond to things and changes when we have good self-management. What do you think?
Thanks! And yes! Balancing stressful moments with non-attachment or less forceful grip 随缘、顺其自然. To best care for the kids, we need to support caregivers and enable a supportive ecosystem for them.
An ecosystem/environment that appreciates non-forcing and tolerance is bliss.
I agree that when it comes to parenting, the struggle is real.
I like Yuxuan answer's on letting our children develop naturally. It is easier said than done, but it's probably the key to release our internal struggles that are lined with expectations.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Rachel. This is really relatable. Whenever I talk to my father, I can feel his internal struggle. I want him to relax and have fewer expectations and worries about me. But it is really hard.
Like Rumi said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
Thanks so much for sharing this. So beautiful!!
Really well explained and accessible. I so appreciate your work and sharing the old stories and how they apply today!
Thank you, Megan. Glad you find them helpful!