#79 One Effortless Move to Enhance Social Intelligence

Tao Te Ching, Chapter 79: Turn to Lao Tzu’s wisdom on managing social relations and living at ease.

Dec 01, 2024

Welcome back to The Wisdom of Lao Tzu.

This week, we are reading Chapter 79 of the Tao Te Ching, where Lao Tzu compares two different ways of managing social relations.

Some believe that resentment or hatred can be resolved between two parties. Lao Tzu thinks this is not good.

He suggests that social intelligence can be found within. Why is it so?

Let’s dive into it.

**79**

和大怨，必有餘怨；

安可以為善？

是以聖人執左契，而不責於人。

有德司契，無德司徹。

天道無親，常與善人。

Border-crossing: English translations

#1 Lin Yutang’s version

Patching up a great hatred is sure to leave some hatred behind.

How can this be regarded as satisfactory?

Therefore the Sage holds the left tally,

And does not put the guilt on the other party.

The virtuous man is for patching up;

The vicious is for fixing guilt.

But “the way of Heaven is impartial;

It sides only with the good man.”

#2 Edmund Ryden’s version

In the reconciliation of great resentment,

Surely some resentment shall remain.

So how may this do good?

For this reason,

The Sage, though holding the right tally, does not use it to enforce on others.

Therefore,

One with virtue is Minister of Contracts;

One lacking virtue Minister of Tithes.

Now,

The way of heaven has no family of her own;

She is, though, always related to every good fellow.1

#3 D. C. Lau’s version

When peace is made between great empires,

Some enmity is bound to remain undispelled.

How can this be considered perfect?

Therefore the sage takes the left-hand tally, but exacts no payment from the people.

The man of virtue takes charge of the tally;

The man of no virtue takes charge of exaction.

It is the way of heaven to show no favoritism.

It is for ever on the side of the good man.2

Deeper dive

Lao Tzu’s Tao Te Ching covers many topics, such as the Tao, wu-wei, naturalness, statecraft, military strategies, life wisdom, and spirituality.

Some topics are related, and others are like stand-alone chapters on specific issues.

I tend to think that this one is about managing social relations. Well, Lao Tzu might be amused by my (over)interpretation. Who knows?

Mindful presence

I see that Lao Tzu talks about two principles of managing social relations.

First, he believes that, compared to settling a hatred, it’s better not to sow the seeds of enmity in the beginning.

Then, he uses the example of holding a tally to illustrate the point of not imposing pressure on others.

The implication of his message is to be mindful of our actions. This is actually aligned with the spirit of wu-wei — not to exert ourselves in situations.

In Lao Tzu’s thinking, if the ruler can understand this point and not become an intrusive presence, his government should be aware of the practice of excessive policies. Too much pressure on the people will cause dissatisfaction.

If a team manager in an organization becomes too meddlesome to micromanage, others will feel the shrinking space to move about. Distrust and animosity are natural results.

In interpersonal relations, it’s also always about understanding one’s obligations toward others instead of having expectations. Being mindful in this context would suggest setting and respecting boundaries, not overstepping and overreach. Sometimes, too much can be counterproductive.

“Stretch (a bow) to the very full,
And you will wish you had stopped in time.” (Tao Te Ching, Chapter 9)

Why does the sage, according to Lao Tzu, not exercise the rights even if they have the tally (reason) to do so?

This may indicate different ways of living with others.

In the face of problems, one can complain, get angry with others, or blame circumstances.

Yet, the sage tries to understand the circumstances and others’ situations and search for solutions to solve problems themselves.

We don’t know what kind of hardships people are experiencing. All we can do is try to understand and be empathetic.

And sometimes, it’s also about leaving things alone and letting the muddy water clear itself.

Spiritual Taoism

The last statement from this chapter — “It is the way of heaven to show no favoritism. It is for ever on the side of the good man,” is still a popular quote in the contemporary Chinese context.

Due to the succinct and poetic writing style of the Tao Te Ching, and the often elusive nature of traditional Chinese text, one Chinese character or a phrase can be open to varied interpretations.

In this sense, the last statement can be understood differently, not necessarily to indicate that the way of heaven will often accompany the good person. This is against the spirit of Tao, which is always impartial and does not play favorites.

The spirit of serving

Instead, it can be understood as an encouragement to someone who is genuinely willing to listen and practice the Tao, someone who understands the spirit of wu-wei and uses it in life.

Following the Tao, in this sense, becomes a way of life — understanding the way things are, doing what must be done, and leaving the rest, the uncontrollable, to the force of nature.

It’s a devoted spirit to contribute to the natural order of things.

There are those who need our help and assistance. If we’ve experienced suffering, we know some have suffered much worse conditions. So, we reach out to help and protect and do whatever is within our power to support and contribute.

This interpretation, I believe, is also consistent with Lao Tzu’s understanding of Tao — we get inspired by it to shift and adjust our actions and, therefore, elevate the quality of our existence.

As he says, “the sage always excels in saving people, and so abandons no one; always excels in saving things, and so abandons nothing.” (Tao Te Ching, Chapter 27)

The way of heaven has its own laws regulating the workings of things in the natural world. In a mystical sense, the natural world operates by its self-correcting mechanism.

So, by modeling the way of nature, we are actually bringing balance to the world.

It is the Way of Heaven to take away from those that have too much
And give to those that have not enough. (Tao Te Ching, Chapter 77)

By constantly thinking and acting positively, we actualize good deeds without being attached to them.

As we practice being aware of the state of mind, we constantly approach the state of mindful presence. We find harmony with ourselves and the world as we continuously contribute and serve.

Thanks for reading!

All the best,

Yuxuan